


Pills and Branches

by CleareyesTheHamilkit



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Mild Angst, evans original letter appears, everyone except connor and evan are just mentioned, fluffy stuff-y, zoe/evan briefly hinted at
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:21:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26653597
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CleareyesTheHamilkit/pseuds/CleareyesTheHamilkit
Summary: Connor had the pills in his hand. Evan sat at the top of the tallest tree he could find. The park was silent. None of them expected to leave there alive. However, major character death has not been tagged, so fate clearly still has a few strings to pull.
Relationships: Evan Hansen & Connor Murphy, Evan Hansen/Connor Murphy
Comments: 2
Kudos: 56





	Pills and Branches

Connor sat beneath the shade of the tree, pill bottle in hand. He fiddled with the loose cap, staring dully at his chipped nail polish. It was like the moment froze, the only sound that Connor heard was the muffled sound of prescription drugs rolling around in the bottle. His eyes were red, the normality for him at this point, but he wasn't high in the slightest. Connor felt better when he was high. Now, he just felt empty. He felt like a shell, all the 'normal' had been drained from the tears he shed at night. Now, Connor had the chance to be free of the lie he had been living for so long.

Faint rustling could be heard from the wind whipping through the leaves, though Connor doubted the wind was as violent as it sounded. The sound of creaking branches began to fill the air, until he knew the noise wasn't natural. A few moments later, the creaking stopped and a hard thud rang out in the forest, followed by silence. Connor stood up and ran towards where the sound came from, pushing the pill bottle shut as he looked around. He eventually stopped at the base of the tallest tree in the forest, upon seeing an unmoving figure laying on their side on top of some crushed leaves and grass with what looked like a letter in their pocket. 

Connor recognised who was laying down in front of him, and the visible parts of the letter confirmed his identity. It was Evan Hansen, barely conscious, on the ground. Connor assumed that Evan must've fell from the tree, until he properly read the end of the letter. He slid it from it's pocket and gently unfolded it, feeling the edges of the creases that had gone soft from the friction of the pocket and paper. The bottom of the page read like what you would find in a suicide note;

**Who am I kidding? Let's be honest with ourselves. Let's just try to be honest with ourselves.**

**Never going to happen. Zoe doesn't care. Does anybody even care? If I disappear tomorrow, nobody's going to care.**

**They don't even know my name.**

**I'm giving up. I'm giving in. I'm not fighting it anymore. Nothing changes. It doesn't get better. It doesn't get easier. You don't get any wiser. You just get older. Your skin gets thinner. Your nerve gets weaker. Your feelings get hurt enough times that you'd rather not feel anymore. You give up. I give up.**

**I give up. Once and for all, I give up.**

**Sincerely, Me.**

Connor felt his eyes start to water. Never before had he been able to put it in words, but Evan had done exactly that. Connor looked back at Evan, who by now had realised that he wasn't alone in the clearing, and sat up.

Evan looked away, trying to hide the fear in his eyes and the pain in his arm. Who knew what Connor would do next? Evan didn't know how he'd react to mentioning Zoe, and hoped that Connor hadn't read the first paragraph about her. Evan braced himself, sure that he was about to be pushed back onto the floor, but instead he felt a pair of arms wrap around him. He looked up to see Connor, with tears running down his face, engulfing him in a hug. 

Slowly, Evan blinked and brought one arm over Connor's back. He felt himself being lifted up and realised that Connor was standing up. Evan attempted to get down but that just tightened Connor's grip on him. "Hey, Evan, I'm taking you to the hospital. Is that ok?" Connor spoke in a surprisingly soft voice. Evan gave a small nod and looked back down at the ground. _Those pills weren't there before_ , Evan thought to himself. Connor noticed what Evan was looking at, and sighed. It was hard to believe that just a few minutes ago he was prepared to swallow them all. Connor was glad he hadn't gone through with it, otherwise Evan could've fallen in a forest with nobody around.

The two of them eventually made it to Connor's car and set off towards the hospital. To Evan's surprise, though, Connor pulled over next to a place called À La Mode. "Hey, Ev, what flavour ice-cream do you want?" Connor asked while opening the door. "O-Oh, no, you really shouldn't- uh, you've already done so, uh- you've done enough, you really don't have to-" Connor cut him off. "Shut up Hansen, you're getting ice-cream whether you like it or not. Now, what flavour do you want?" Evan had never heard someone so passionate about ice-cream, except maybe his mom. They would always have ice-cream together and talk about their day, but Heidi couldn't really find time for that anymore. "Oh, uh, I-I guess peanut butter, please," Connor smiled and shut the door behind him, leaving Evan in the car in case he hurt his legs.

Connor got back in the car, peanut butter ice-cream in one hand, chocolate in the other. He handed Evan his one and started to lick his own as the car started up again. They drove the winding country road to the nearest hospital and finished their ice-cream, and eventually Evan convinced Connor that he could walk on his own.

Evan decided that though today wasn't the best day it could be, it definitely skyrocketed above his other days. He made an unlikely friendship from an even unlikelier scenario.

Who would've guessed you'd meet your soulmate through a single day of suicide, ice-cream, pills and branches.

**Author's Note:**

> Yee yee gay oneshot go brrrrrr


End file.
